Tag: brene brown

Life Hacks, Novels and Creative Writing, Trigger Warning!, Uncategorised, Uncategorized

Benefits of Counselling for Rainbow Sunshine444 (Part 1 of 5)

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I recently lost a friend.

I lost her because I set a boundary.

This is the boundary: for her to be in my life, she had to attend counselling at least fortnightly.

In the state that I live in, she could access free fortnightly counselling because she is a victim of serious crime and child abuse.

She doesn’t feel the need to work on her issues.

I can understand that.

But I’m not standing on the deck of her ship going down with her.

If she wants to be in my life, she’s going to have to bail some of the water out and try to row for shore instead of intentionally drowning herself.

She asked me for advice as to what she should talk about in counselling.

Here is part 1 of 5 of my suggestions:

Victim/Abuser Radar Sensitivity Training:

RainbowSunshine444 was the victim of physical assaults and frequent emotional abuse from her mother as a child. She is still the victim of regular emotional abuse from her mother. This abuse has never stopped, because she has never moved out of home or separated from her Mum. I have witnessed this behaviour over the past 8 years, and I believe her when she says that it occurred s a child.

She has also internalized her mother’s voice, and insults and berates herself internally as well as having to listen to her mother’s abuse externally.

However, RainbowSunshine444 perceives nearly everyone external to her as abusing her. I have witnessed her label anyone who respectfully suggested she do something helpful in her life as an abuser. I have witnessed her label people abusers for doing something as simple as falling in love and moving out of a share house.

I have witnessed her label people who pay for her drinks and her food and treat her respectfully as abusers. I have witnessed her label people who habitually beat women as “pussy cats” and people who set respectful boundaries with her as “abusive c**ts”.

I have witnessed her claim that the child exploitation and trafficking that she was also a victim of is not abuse. I have witnessed her claim that her Mum does not abuse her.

It is clear to me that she has no f**kn idea what abuse is, and she desperately needs to learn what is and what isn’t inappropriate behaviour. The best place she can learn how to do this is counselling.

So that’s the first thing I think she would benefit from learning about in counselling:

Victim/Abuser Radar Sensitivity Training.

F.I.R.E., Life Hacks, More experienced Investors, New To Finance, Uncategorised, Uncategorized

Plenty of Honey in my Cupboard (Part 2 of 3)

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How to get honey in the cupboard and things that are real honey instead of fake honey

  • Real honey: touch. Sit with your partner and massage his hands, feel happy about the physical touch time. Let your partner touch your back and your hands and spend time just talking and touching and hugging
  • Real honey: conversation. Spend time ringing and speaking to friends, past and present. Spend time speaking your heart and listening to them speak their heart. Listen.
  • Real honey: exercise. Spend time building your muscles, strength, balance, flexibility, and cardio ability.
  • Real honey: rest and sleep. You need to rest and sleep each night. Ask for vitality and calm productivity. At least one day per week should be at home pottering around and resting/cleaning etc.
  • Real honey: nature. Spending time outside in nature is physiologically good for us.
  • Real honey: creativity. Spending time doing creative stuff is real honey. This could include creative things which you can use to make money.
  • Real honey: mindfulness and inspiration. I like James Clear, Robin Sharma (the less egoic videos), Thich Nhaht Hanh, Brene Brown, Paula Pant, Andrew Hallam, Bill Gates and many more. I also like to meditate and be mindful.
  • Real honey: Kindness. When you do nice things for someone you feel good.
  • Real honey: virtue. Do things that are virtuous and you feel good. If in doubt, read an Old Fashioned Girl Louisa May Alcott or Tell me if the Lovers are Losers by Cynthia Voigt.
  • Real honey: savings. Having savings in the bank is real good honey. I don’t feel right if I don’t increase my savings by a little each week (increased by around $33 this week to a total of nearly $46k).
  • Real honey: satisfying food. Yes this includes animal products for me, also vegetables, fruits, vinegar, fermented foods, and sweet forbidden carbs.
  • Real honey: supplements. I take lots of supplements, and they help me feel healthy and safe.
  • Real honey: learning and teaching. This is the best.
  • Real honey: charity. Give to charity. Volunteer. It feels damn good to build up the community that supports you. And pay your taxes. We all like the Doctors to be paid, the sewer to run, the curbs to be maintained, and the poor people to have income.
  • Real honey: confront your demons and learn about hard stuff. A book on my current to-read list: http://www.katemanne.net/down-girl.html
F.I.R.E., Life Hacks, More experienced Investors, New To Finance

What does it take to build a business?

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Brene Brown says ‘if you’re not in the arena, participating, don’t you dare stand on the sidelines and put me down’. Tough words—basically if you haven’t got any skin in the game you haven’t got any authority to criticize.

I just watched two speakers pitch their businesses through Sydney City Council. Both speakers had the drive and creativity to reach at least $2 million in revenue. Despite being at the beginning of their potential, both businesses had already raised as much revenue as the median Australian earns in 40 years of work.

So what does it take to build a business?

The median sole trader earns around $10 000 per year of income (abs.gov.au). Yet in Australia’s $2.5 trillion economy there are many small to medium businesses that earn much more than that.

So how do you get from averaging $10 000 to $2 million+?

I don’t know how. I’ve not been able to do that, yet.

But I do know some things that don’t work:

  • Law-of-Attraction or prayer—being a good person and living mindfully is one thing, but if you pray to win the lottery instead of putting the work into a business plan, you’re not going to get much out of it besides a gambling addiction.
  • Pessimism and deciding you’ve failed before you’ve begun. Again, great to take criticism and feedback on board, but despair and defeated-ness are definitely not winners.
  • Refusing to listen to feedback—ask your customers what they think of your product
  • Basing your product entirely on what other people ask for—Henry Ford said “if I had asked people what they wanted they would’ve told me to breed faster horses”.
  • Charging by the hour for your own work. It’s not scalable. Even if you earn $100 per hour, you will never make the return on investment that you would if you had a scalable product.

Let me know your thoughts in the comments below 🙂

References:

www.abs.gov.au

www.austrade.gov.au

https://www.cityofsydney.nsw.gov.au/talks-courses-workshops/visiting-entrepreneur-program

https://www.haymarkethq.com/

https://brenebrown.com/

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By reading this blog, you agree that you read it under your own risk, and Gill’s Practical Bookkeeping is in no way responsible for any harm or prejudice to yourself, your business, or any fictional examples above.

I am not a financial advisor. I do not have an AFSL. I am a chick who likes to read, think, write, and has access to google. You should treat this blog with the same seriousness that you would treat anyone whose main qualification is access to google. This blog is for entertainment purposes only. It’s a little like watching The Good Place for nerds or artists.

Anything you take from this blog is your responsibility. Nothing in this blog, even if you are mentioned by name, address, and telephone number, pertains to your personal situation. Anything you agree with, or disagree with, you are welcome to comment on, but your opinions belong to you. You are responsible for your comments. If they are offensive, I will remove them.