F.I.R.E., Life Hacks, Review, Uncategorised, Uncategorized

Sound Relationship House (Part 3 of 5)

John and Julie Gottman’s Sound Relationship House

After you’ve spent a long time getting to know your partner and learning their personal traits and histories, the next step is to love all over your partner and snuggle into their yumminess.

This means compliment your partner, tell them what they’re doing right, listen to them telling you 100 times the same joke and still smile wryly.

Tell them you love them and you love the way they pick up groceries on the way home, or wash up all the plastic recycling on the weekend, or shake the water off their butt when they get out of the shower.

As John Flanagan a Gottman trainer says, the next step is to be your partner’s cheer leader.

Something my husband and I do is tell each other how much we love each other several times per day. I tell him he’s a good husband and I love him, and I say thank you to him for doing every good thing he does that I remember. Yesterday he tidied his cupboards, and he took the recycling box downstairs. I said thank you. Because he’s a good little kitten and I love him. Naaaaaw.

He tells me he loves me he likes my cooking and he’s proud of me for getting good marks at uni and he’s proud of me when I get a new client, and he thinks I’m a good wife. I love him and he loves me.

I also have an example of this from a friend, one of my friends and I start on the level of functional and we work to make each other more functional. I can talk to her about things I’m working on to improve, and she can talk to me too.

https://www.gottman.com

Life Hacks, Review, Uncategorised, Uncategorized

The Sound Relationship House (Part 2 of 5)

John and Julie Gottman’s Sound Relationship House

John and Julie Gottman’s model basically boils down to being nice to your partner while still having boundaries.

It starts with getting to know your partner really well. That means finding out their hopes and dreams; their experiences and memories; their values, ethics, politics, and spiritual views.

It starts with all the talking you do when you’re in new relationship energy, but it adds an additional responsibility to keep learning from each other.

They ask you to keep on talking and sharing your day, your experiences.

It starts with the admonition to be your partner’s best friend.

One piece of practical advice I got from Trish Purnell, a Gottman Trainer is that when your husband first comes in, the first moments he walks through the door, I just set aside 20 minutes (maybe over dinner or a drink) and let him vent about his day. He’ll vomit his news up all over me, and he’ll feel better, I don’t have to say anything or problem solve, I just let him vent for 20 minutes or so.

Another thing that I’ve done is to ask my husband to participate in my hobbies. So I did things like buying him a colouring in book so we could colour together, he does jigsaw puzzles so we do that together sometimes, we both love to read so we sometimes read the same books so we can talk about them to each other. It makes a big difference to understand your partner

http://www.gottman.com

F.I.R.E., Life Hacks, More experienced Investors, New To Finance, Uncategorised, Uncategorized

Re-Blog: RNOEL 328

Want to find out 10 careers with a median income over 70K that you can do without a four year degree?

The only one different that I know of in Australia as the Registered Nurse– In Au you need a 4 year degree. Enrolled Nurses have a 2 year diploma in Australia.

This is a really interesting article. Highly recommend.

Uncategorised, Life Hacks, Uncategorized

The Sound Relationship House (Part 1 of 5)

John and Julie Gottman’s Sound Relationship House

John and Julie Gottman have been helping couples heal in relationships and researching good relationships since the 1970’s.

It started with John realizing he had a crummy love life.

He would date women, but they just kept leaving him. Duh Dong.

Eventually he decided to get some data into what good relationships look like, and how to be in one.

Fast forward over 50 years and he’s happily married to Julie and his research team can predict with 98% accuracy if a couple will still be together in 5 years after a 1 hour conversation.

When he married Julie, in the 1980’s she said, ‘So John, when are you going to start telling people about this good relationship stuff?’ John was like ‘Huh?’ Lol.

Over time they’ve developed a model for good relationships called The Sound Relationship House and a series of short courses that you can do online through www.gottman.com or in person in Australia through https://relationshipinstitute.com.au/ My husband and I did their two day course, and some of their short courses, and they’re very good.

They’ve also got a whole mess of books and posters and info-graphics and card decks, you name it, available online through sites like www.amazon.com or though local bookstores like www.booktopia.com.au (search term: gottman).

Life Hacks, Novels and Creative Writing, politics, Trigger Warning!, Uncategorised, Uncategorized

WDYS#145 Sadje from Keeping it Alive

Thanks to Sadje from Keeping it Alive for her What Do You See prompt #145

Photo Credit: https://unsplash.com/@malonsophoto

Silent secrets: Communicating abuse

The artist’s white rose heart

Bursting out of the page

Reaching for anyone who might be able to help

Jewellery—there’s no lack of money,

Just lacking compassion, and empathy.

Trying, failing, trying, to speak

The longing to say words

For the sounds to tumble out of my mouth

Forbidden speech–

The despair of silence.

The effort of work that is

Helping someone understand,

While unable to utter a single word

Of truth.

I got help from https://steppingout.org.au