One of my favourite poems is ‘you get proud by practising’ By Laura Hershey.
Those tiny actions that you repeat every day?
They change you.
Growing butterfly bush or buddleia in Australia is a wonderful option
Your tiny daily actions change your muscles and posture—ever seen the way a cellist or violinist holds their head at the dinner table?
They way you regularly think changes the way your mind works.
People who do systematic work become increasingly technical.
People who learn a style of deductive reasoning such as lawyers become increasingly bound by rules and logic.
Grevillia in flower
Your speech and communication habits change your relationships.
Have you ever noticed how many psychologists have similar communication techniques or attitudes? Or how teachers adopt a particular metre when speaking to 5 year olds?
Have you ever been talked down to by someone when they should have been talking up to you?
So my advice, for anyone really is to pick something to learn.
Could be a language, could be a way of walking, could be a skill, could be a craft, could be a body of knowledge, could be a sport, could be just about anything:
But pick something, and work on it for 5 minutes on a regular basis.
In time, I almost guarantee you’ll be really proud of yourself and how far you’ve come.
And I’ll be proud of you, too.
Note: None of the links in this post are affiliate links, but they do build my blog.
John and Julie Gottman have been helping couples heal in relationships and researching good relationships since the 1970’s.
It started with John realizing he had a crummy love life.
He would date women, but they just kept leaving him. Duh Dong.
Eventually he decided to get some data into what good relationships look like, and how to be in one.
Fast forward over 50 years and he’s happily married to Julie and his research team can predict with 98% accuracy if a couple will still be together in 5 years after a 1 hour conversation.
When he married Julie, in the 1980’s she said, ‘So John, when are you going to start telling people about this good relationship stuff?’ John was like ‘Huh?’ Lol.
Over time they’ve developed a model for good relationships called The Sound Relationship House and a series of short courses that you can do online through www.gottman.com or in person in Australia through https://relationshipinstitute.com.au/ My husband and I did their two day course, and some of their short courses, and they’re very good.
They’ve also got a whole mess of books and posters and info-graphics and card decks, you name it, available online through sites like www.amazon.com or though local bookstores like www.booktopia.com.au (search term: gottman).
How to get honey in the cupboard and things that are real honey instead of fake honey
Real honey: touch. Sit with your partner and massage his hands, feel happy about the physical touch time. Let your partner touch your back and your hands and spend time just talking and touching and hugging
Real honey: conversation. Spend time ringing and speaking to friends, past and present. Spend time speaking your heart and listening to them speak their heart. Listen.
Real honey: exercise. Spend time building your muscles, strength, balance, flexibility, and cardio ability.
Real honey: rest and sleep. You need to rest and sleep each night. Ask for vitality and calm productivity. At least one day per week should be at home pottering around and resting/cleaning etc.
Real honey: creativity. Spending time doing creative stuff is real honey. This could include creative things which you can use to make money.
Real honey: mindfulness and inspiration. I like James Clear, Robin Sharma (the less egoic videos), Thich Nhaht Hanh, Brene Brown, Paula Pant, Andrew Hallam, Bill Gates and many more. I also like to meditate and be mindful.
Real honey: Kindness. When you do nice things for someone you feel good.
Real honey: savings. Having savings in the bank is real good honey. I don’t feel right if I don’t increase my savings by a little each week (increased by around $33 this week to a total of nearly $46k).
Real honey: satisfying food. Yes this includes animal products for me, also vegetables, fruits, vinegar, fermented foods, and sweet forbidden carbs.
Real honey: supplements. I take lots of supplements, and they help me feel healthy and safe.
Real honey: learning and teaching. This is the best.
Real honey: charity. Give to charity. Volunteer. It feels damn good to build up the community that supports you. And pay your taxes. We all like the Doctors to be paid, the sewer to run, the curbs to be maintained, and the poor people to have income.
Small, repeated actions add up to big results. Listening to Afford Anything got me thinking about savings and investments. That got me searching for ways I can do that to fit my lifestyle. Paula says focus on the process rather than the outcome .
What I came up with is twice per month, once after my pay and once after my interest comes in, I make all the numbers in my savings accounts line up in a row. (Savings Account 1: $6222, Savings Account 2: $7222 etc). This has the effect of adding an extra $22.19 here, and an extra $7.54 there, which makes the total go up higher than it would by just adding $300 per month.
And my inner child loves seeing all the numbers add up in a row.
Relationships are more important than stuff. In this blog, Paula talks about how one of the best ways to heal trauma is to connect with other mammals and focus on building relationships.
That is one of the lessons of my life already. Friends, relationships, family, and caring about people has enriched my life inexpressibly. Having friends involves some simple repeated actions and being kind.
Something I do, is that my teacher buddies and I have coffee together during the school holidays. I initiate one text every school holidays, and if we’re free enough, we catch up.
And my social-self loves having stable, loving friendships.
Look at what other people are doing well, and do that. Paula speaks to people who are interesting and who also think. She’s a thinking person who talks to people who think. I love this so much.
My little brain just goes “Yaaaaaay” any time she has someone new on her podcast. I’ve bought so many books after listening to the people on her blog. Currently reading: Andrew Hallam, Millionaire Teacher because of listening to her show.
Something else she does really well is having a variety of reader cases (you can ask your questions) with regular guests, and completely new guests and ideas.
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By reading this blog, you agree that you read it under your own risk, and Gill’s Practical Bookkeeping is in no way responsible for any harm or prejudice to yourself, your business, or any fictional examples above.
I am not a financial advisor. I do not have an AFSL. I am a chick who likes to read, think, write, and has access to google. You should treat this blog with the same seriousness that you would treat anyone whose main qualification is access to google. This blog is for entertainment purposes only. It’s a little like watching The Good Place for nerds or artists.
Anything you take from this blog is your responsibility. Nothing in this blog, even if you are mentioned by name, address, and telephone number, pertains to your personal situation. Anything you agree with, or disagree with, you are welcome to comment on, but your opinions belong to you. You are responsible for your comments. If they are offensive, I will remove them.
On Derek Dammers’ youtube channel, he’s fishing both for living humans and living fish. He’s a salary man, who fishes in his spare time, and is slowly turning his favourite hobby into a business. He has fished for forty years around the harbour, rivers, and lakes of Sydney. He’s an extremely technical person, and a bit of perfectionist. He’s also patient and quite gentle, which makes him a good teacher.
Here are some of the great things he’s done:
Visual acuity and slow motion. This channel is perfect for visual learners. Anyone who wants to watch again and again and again to perfect their casting technique can.
Beautiful settings and surrounds. Each of these videos is shot in areas of great beauty both formed by humans and natural.
Short Videos. The longest video is 40 seconds long. This succinctness means that there is no superfluous information and you never waste your time watching.
Thoughtfulness of shooting and subject. If you’re looking to improve your physical know-how, this is a great way to do it. He’s really thought about how to teach, and what to teach, and he’s done a good job.
Here are some of the things he could improve:
Not everyone is a visual learner. Some people need to hear a story, or might need words to understand what you’re doing.
Credentials. Derek is a teacher, trying to set up a business as a teacher, but he’s establishing his credentials as an expert, rather than a teacher.
Accesibility. If you’re trying to teach beginners, or less experienced fishermen, they’re not necessarily going to understand what you’re doing right, and what they’re doing wrong
Suggestions:
Add a couple of 2-minute videos explaining what’s happening in the short videos
Put up student testimonials, and videos of lesson before and afters
Do a beginners series for those going fishing for the first time
Embed a button in each video with a Call To Action leading to what you’re selling
Overall, a great channel for anyone who wants to learn fly fishing or anyone who wants to see some great photos and videos of Sydney Harbour.
By reading this blog, you agree that you read it under your own risk, and Gill’s Practical Bookkeeping is in no way responsible for any harm or prejudice to yourself, your business, or any fictional examples above.
I am not a financial advisor. I do not have an AFSL. I am a chick who likes to read, think, write, and has access to google. You should treat this blog with the same seriousness that you would treat anyone whose main qualification is access to google. This blog is for entertainment purposes only. It’s a little like watching The Good Place for nerds or artists.
Anything you take from this blog is your responsibility. Nothing in this blog, even if you are mentioned by name, address, and telephone number, pertains to your personal situation. Anything you agree with, or disagree with, you are welcome to comment on, but your opinions belong to you. You are responsible for your comments. If they are offensive, I will remove them.
Gill's Practical Bookkeeping 