F.I.R.E., Life Hacks, Review, Uncategorised, Uncategorized

Sound Relationship House (Part 3 of 5)

John and Julie Gottman’s Sound Relationship House

After you’ve spent a long time getting to know your partner and learning their personal traits and histories, the next step is to love all over your partner and snuggle into their yumminess.

This means compliment your partner, tell them what they’re doing right, listen to them telling you 100 times the same joke and still smile wryly.

Tell them you love them and you love the way they pick up groceries on the way home, or wash up all the plastic recycling on the weekend, or shake the water off their butt when they get out of the shower.

As John Flanagan a Gottman trainer says, the next step is to be your partner’s cheer leader.

Something my husband and I do is tell each other how much we love each other several times per day. I tell him he’s a good husband and I love him, and I say thank you to him for doing every good thing he does that I remember. Yesterday he tidied his cupboards, and he took the recycling box downstairs. I said thank you. Because he’s a good little kitten and I love him. Naaaaaw.

He tells me he loves me he likes my cooking and he’s proud of me for getting good marks at uni and he’s proud of me when I get a new client, and he thinks I’m a good wife. I love him and he loves me.

I also have an example of this from a friend, one of my friends and I start on the level of functional and we work to make each other more functional. I can talk to her about things I’m working on to improve, and she can talk to me too.

https://www.gottman.com

Life Hacks, Review, Uncategorised, Uncategorized

The Sound Relationship House (Part 2 of 5)

John and Julie Gottman’s Sound Relationship House

John and Julie Gottman’s model basically boils down to being nice to your partner while still having boundaries.

It starts with getting to know your partner really well. That means finding out their hopes and dreams; their experiences and memories; their values, ethics, politics, and spiritual views.

It starts with all the talking you do when you’re in new relationship energy, but it adds an additional responsibility to keep learning from each other.

They ask you to keep on talking and sharing your day, your experiences.

It starts with the admonition to be your partner’s best friend.

One piece of practical advice I got from Trish Purnell, a Gottman Trainer is that when your husband first comes in, the first moments he walks through the door, I just set aside 20 minutes (maybe over dinner or a drink) and let him vent about his day. He’ll vomit his news up all over me, and he’ll feel better, I don’t have to say anything or problem solve, I just let him vent for 20 minutes or so.

Another thing that I’ve done is to ask my husband to participate in my hobbies. So I did things like buying him a colouring in book so we could colour together, he does jigsaw puzzles so we do that together sometimes, we both love to read so we sometimes read the same books so we can talk about them to each other. It makes a big difference to understand your partner

http://www.gottman.com

F.I.R.E., More experienced Investors, New To Finance, Uncategorised, Uncategorized

Savings Trick for Pattern-ish Peoples

Are you a lover of patterns and numbers?

Fibonacci fun

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b008ct2j

Golden Mean grins

http://www.csun.edu/~lmp99402/Math_Art/Golden%20Mean/golden_mean2.html

Times-tables totally terrific

Here is one simple action I do to trick myself into locking more money into savings:

Make the numbers in your savings accounts line up in a row.

Here’s what I mean, I use a notice saver account which means that I can’t access my savings for a minimum of 30 days no matter how many shiny things I want to buy.

This very neatly prevents me from buying shiny things.

About 2-3 days after arranging a transfer, I nearly always think twice about buying the shiny, shiny, stuff and cancel it. Ka-ching!

I try to add money to this account every single week, even if it’s only $1.

The way I trick myself into saving more, is by adding (say) $5 to each account, and then remembering how much I Love it when the numbers go in a row.

Isn’t it fun-ner to see a savings account at $8, 722.22 rather than $8, 714.37?

I think it’s waaaaaay better when the numbers all go in a row. It makes me happy.

And then, because you’re putting money in but not taking money out, the numbers go Up as well.

So not only do you have a cool number pattern, you’re also putting money into savings and increasing your wealth base.

Awesome!

All you do, is grab a calculator, and put enough money into the account so that the last four digits go in a row (eg $8, 714.37 would increase by $7.85 to make $8, 722.22).

Generally this will cost you no more than $11.12 per account, and when they’re all orderly and delicious, you’re going to feel really good.

Good luck and happy savings 🙂

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By reading this blog, you agree that you read it under your own risk, and Gill’s Practical Bookkeeping is in no way responsible for any harm or prejudice to yourself, your business, or any fictional examples above.

I am not a financial advisor. I do not have an AFSL. I am a chick who likes to read, think, write, and has access to google. You should treat this blog with the same seriousness that you would treat anyone whose main qualification is access to google. This blog is for entertainment purposes only. It’s a little like watching The Good Place for nerds or artists.

Anything you take from this blog is your responsibility. Nothing in this blog, even if you are mentioned by name, address, and telephone number, pertains to your personal situation. Anything you agree with, or disagree with, you are welcome to comment on, but your opinions belong to you. You are responsible for your comments. If they are offensive, I will remove them.

Life Hacks, Uncategorised, Uncategorized

The Sound Relationship House (Part 1 of 5)

John and Julie Gottman’s Sound Relationship House

John and Julie Gottman have been helping couples heal in relationships and researching good relationships since the 1970’s.

It started with John realizing he had a crummy love life.

He would date women, but they just kept leaving him. Duh Dong.

Eventually he decided to get some data into what good relationships look like, and how to be in one.

Fast forward over 50 years and he’s happily married to Julie and his research team can predict with 98% accuracy if a couple will still be together in 5 years after a 1 hour conversation.

When he married Julie, in the 1980’s she said, ‘So John, when are you going to start telling people about this good relationship stuff?’ John was like ‘Huh?’ Lol.

Over time they’ve developed a model for good relationships called The Sound Relationship House and a series of short courses that you can do online through www.gottman.com or in person in Australia through https://relationshipinstitute.com.au/ My husband and I did their two day course, and some of their short courses, and they’re very good.

They’ve also got a whole mess of books and posters and info-graphics and card decks, you name it, available online through sites like www.amazon.com or though local bookstores like www.booktopia.com.au (search term: gottman).

F.I.R.E., Life Hacks, More experienced Investors, New To Finance, politics, Uncategorised, Uncategorized

Plenty of Honey in my Cupboard (Part 3 of 3)

Things that detract from my life, that is: Fake Honey

  • More than 1 hour per week on social media.
  • Not enough veggies and fruits
  • Unlimited wealth
  • Fame
  • Standing out/being different except via virtue
  • Taking more than my share
  • Taking from a system I don’t contribute to
  • Adrenalin without rest
  • Unlimited rewards without effort
  • The power that comes from shaming someone or being mean to them
  • Ideals of beauty that are disrespectful to people’s bodies
  • Reading/viewing violence or disrespect on books/internet/TV
  • Pessimism

None of these things have been shown by any research or any study that I’m aware of to improve your happiness, skills, or satisfaction with life. Think on that before you pursue them.

As my sister says: “I will be like Winnie the Pooh & find the honey”

Winnie the Pooh