Life Hacks, Uncategorised, Uncategorized

The Sound Relationship House (Part 1 of 5)

John and Julie Gottman’s Sound Relationship House

John and Julie Gottman have been helping couples heal in relationships and researching good relationships since the 1970’s.

It started with John realizing he had a crummy love life.

He would date women, but they just kept leaving him. Duh Dong.

Eventually he decided to get some data into what good relationships look like, and how to be in one.

Fast forward over 50 years and he’s happily married to Julie and his research team can predict with 98% accuracy if a couple will still be together in 5 years after a 1 hour conversation.

When he married Julie, in the 1980’s she said, ‘So John, when are you going to start telling people about this good relationship stuff?’ John was like ‘Huh?’ Lol.

Over time they’ve developed a model for good relationships called The Sound Relationship House and a series of short courses that you can do online through www.gottman.com or in person in Australia through https://relationshipinstitute.com.au/ My husband and I did their two day course, and some of their short courses, and they’re very good.

They’ve also got a whole mess of books and posters and info-graphics and card decks, you name it, available online through sites like www.amazon.com or though local bookstores like www.booktopia.com.au (search term: gottman).

F.I.R.E., Life Hacks, More experienced Investors, New To Finance, politics, Uncategorised, Uncategorized

Plenty of Honey in my Cupboard (Part 3 of 3)

Things that detract from my life, that is: Fake Honey

  • More than 1 hour per week on social media.
  • Not enough veggies and fruits
  • Unlimited wealth
  • Fame
  • Standing out/being different except via virtue
  • Taking more than my share
  • Taking from a system I don’t contribute to
  • Adrenalin without rest
  • Unlimited rewards without effort
  • The power that comes from shaming someone or being mean to them
  • Ideals of beauty that are disrespectful to people’s bodies
  • Reading/viewing violence or disrespect on books/internet/TV
  • Pessimism

None of these things have been shown by any research or any study that I’m aware of to improve your happiness, skills, or satisfaction with life. Think on that before you pursue them.

As my sister says: “I will be like Winnie the Pooh & find the honey”

Winnie the Pooh
F.I.R.E., Life Hacks, More experienced Investors, New To Finance, Uncategorised, Uncategorized

Plenty of Honey in my Cupboard (Part 2 of 3)

How to get honey in the cupboard and things that are real honey instead of fake honey

  • Real honey: touch. Sit with your partner and massage his hands, feel happy about the physical touch time. Let your partner touch your back and your hands and spend time just talking and touching and hugging
  • Real honey: conversation. Spend time ringing and speaking to friends, past and present. Spend time speaking your heart and listening to them speak their heart. Listen.
  • Real honey: exercise. Spend time building your muscles, strength, balance, flexibility, and cardio ability.
  • Real honey: rest and sleep. You need to rest and sleep each night. Ask for vitality and calm productivity. At least one day per week should be at home pottering around and resting/cleaning etc.
  • Real honey: nature. Spending time outside in nature is physiologically good for us.
  • Real honey: creativity. Spending time doing creative stuff is real honey. This could include creative things which you can use to make money.
  • Real honey: mindfulness and inspiration. I like James Clear, Robin Sharma (the less egoic videos), Thich Nhaht Hanh, Brene Brown, Paula Pant, Andrew Hallam, Bill Gates and many more. I also like to meditate and be mindful.
  • Real honey: Kindness. When you do nice things for someone you feel good.
  • Real honey: virtue. Do things that are virtuous and you feel good. If in doubt, read an Old Fashioned Girl Louisa May Alcott or Tell me if the Lovers are Losers by Cynthia Voigt.
  • Real honey: savings. Having savings in the bank is real good honey. I don’t feel right if I don’t increase my savings by a little each week (increased by around $33 this week to a total of nearly $46k).
  • Real honey: satisfying food. Yes this includes animal products for me, also vegetables, fruits, vinegar, fermented foods, and sweet forbidden carbs.
  • Real honey: supplements. I take lots of supplements, and they help me feel healthy and safe.
  • Real honey: learning and teaching. This is the best.
  • Real honey: charity. Give to charity. Volunteer. It feels damn good to build up the community that supports you. And pay your taxes. We all like the Doctors to be paid, the sewer to run, the curbs to be maintained, and the poor people to have income.
  • Real honey: confront your demons and learn about hard stuff. A book on my current to-read list: http://www.katemanne.net/down-girl.html
Novels and Creative Writing, Uncategorised, Uncategorized

dVerse Poets Pub Quadrille #156 Wrap

This is a response to the prompt Quadrille #156 by dVerse Poets Pub

Write a 44 word poem containing the word “wrap”.

Holy azaleas and fat crickets

I’m watching how beauty feeds

Multiple creatures in different ways

The beauty feeds me, too.

Novotel Twin Waters

Kids picking hibiscus flowers,

Discovering ants.

Learning:

Feast with your eyes

Don’t wrap beauty around your fingers.

As I watch, I breathe in awe.  

Wow.

South Sydney Uniting Church

It’s 45 words! Hope you liked it!

Life Hacks, Novels and Creative Writing, Uncategorised, Uncategorized

Three Things Challenge #M28

This is my response to the three things challenge from pensivity101

Shopping: Bargain, Parking, Shelf

Contractual relationships– our lives are governed by parameters and hierarchies. Breaking free of it leaves me breathless, searching out: faith, friendship, family, and work that serves the community.

And I know that Kmart doesn’t pay their workers right, but I catch myself searching for bargains. Who can resist those $2 bouncy balls?

Always hurrying my shopping so I don’t have to pay for parking, adding one more book to shelves crammed with books and ornaments.

Then complaining that I don’t have enough.

In reality there’s plenty of honey in the cupboard; I’m safe.