Novels and Creative Writing, Trigger Warning!, Uncategorised

Conversations with my 13 year old Self

P!nk does the healing work
Her example creates, succeeds, motivates.
She started out bratty, different,
Let’s Get This Party Started! Bleargh.
But she’s worked through that, and ended up
Raw, honest, a wounded healer; more artist than merchandise;
A knitting together of dreams, effort, growth, joy and panic rather than plastic fantastic,
Her self-liberation liberates others.

Conversations with my 13 year old Self

When I was 13 I wanted to be a teacher and a missionary in Africa,
I wanted 10 kids
And to save the world.
I joined the school band, choir and debating team.
I babysat every afternoon.
At 13 I was bossy and arrogant,
Patronising and overly direct:
I couldn’t fit in with my peers.
I also had seeds of strength, creativity, and kindness,
Quietly rooting themselves into my personality.

And the others—those men
Both internal and external to me.
They haunted the edges of my consciousness
A snap of images from the past
Ashamed, I’d turn my head,
Or a shard of someone younger than me who lives inside
Ciphering out– her head dripping round the door of my consciousness
Internal him using my hands to cut the malleable bounce of my legs and stomach.
External him sending shocks of fear through my body
The smell of cigarettes, beer, and sex, the growl of male voices,
My shudder of horror when I hear those footsteps, those keys.
Pain and panic blinding me,
Blinding the parts of me that still remember, still experience.

At 13 I could read all day
Novels and stories—so many quick reader books written with simplicity in mind.
I had so much energy and time went on forever
Stretching into a future that would definitely be better than today.

I disliked his hands on me
Eyes assaulting through the peeky hole between the bathroom and kitchen.
Anyone could look– he let anyone look: his friends.
And I looked too.
In 1999 they chose that life

In 2022 they choose their lives.

In 2022 I’m basking in
That ephemeral substance of living past your past,
Growing through your past,
Embracing: intangible assets of compassion, language, and love of learning.

My parents?
How do you grow though a past that you can’t accept occurred?
Lost to resentment and denial, they bask in
Disappointment and regrets.

Poor things.

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By reading this blog, you agree that you read it under your own risk, and Gill’s Practical Bookkeeping is in no way responsible for any harm or prejudice to yourself, your business, or any fictional examples above.

I am not a financial advisor. I do not have an AFSL. I am a chick who likes to read, think, write, and has access to google. You should treat this blog with the same seriousness that you would treat anyone whose main qualification is access to google. This blog is for entertainment purposes only. It’s a little like watching The Good Place for nerds or artists.

Anything you take from this blog is your responsibility. Nothing in this blog, even if you are mentioned by name, address, and telephone number, pertains to your personal situation. Anything you agree with, or disagree with, you are welcome to comment on, but your opinions belong to you. You are responsible for your comments. If they are offensive, I will remove them.

Trigger Warning!, Uncategorised

The appearance of truth

How do you know if your history is true?

Elizabeth Loftus says that there are studies that prove that between 30-90% of people can be hypnotised, primed, or coaxed into creating a false memory. She says that it’s possible to create false trauma memories, too. She says that those memories have the same emotional impact as real memories, only they never happened.

So, if 30-90% of people can create false memories, how can I know what’s real and what’s not? How can I know if the history I’m basing my life and my personality on actually occurred? What about things I’ve forgotten about for years and years that suddenly pop into my consciousness? What if there’s no corroborating evidence? What if no one else remembers what I do?

How do we interrogate or investigate our own minds, when our minds are naturally unreliable and mercurial?

My sister wet the bed until she was 10. Nobody else in my family remembers this except me. But I’m certain it happened. Every night at around the same time, she would wake up vomiting and peeing. Dad would come in, clean her up, take her to the toilet and put her back to bed. Quite often she would wake me up, too.

We had pink bunk beds and a bedroom that was absolutely full of crap (toys, books, paper-mess, junk we found on the side of the road, clothes, you name it). I slept on the top bunk, and when I learned to successfully climb up and down the ladder the family shared a Vienetto (Australian icecream shaped like a log) as a reward.

Dad built the bunk beds out of solid pine (from a kit). He installed a bed-side lamp for each of us so that we could read in bed. Mine was yellow, and my sister’s was red. We listened to classical music or audio-books or story tapes every night, and Mum would usually read to us before bed. They loved us so much. They took such good care of us.

My sister had a plastic sheet under her fitted sheet, and a green basin next to her bed. So all Dad had to do was change the fitted sheet and empty the basin, and she’d sleep the rest of the night. I heard Dad comforting her, telling her ‘It’s all right, It’s all right, there there, there there, you’ll be OK” etc. He called her a slut. There was also a rhythmic, wet sound. Slap, slap, slap. Skin on skin. And my sister whimpering ‘No’.

I’ve been firmly told this is imaginary. That it’s impossible for it to be true. There’s no corroborating evidence. But I remember it.

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By reading this blog, you agree that you read it under your own risk, and Gill’s Practical Bookkeeping is in no way responsible for any harm or prejudice to yourself, your business, or any fictional examples above.

I am not a financial advisor. I do not have an AFSL. I am a chick who likes to read, think, write, and has access to google. You should treat this blog with the same seriousness that you would treat anyone whose main qualification is access to google. This blog is for entertainment purposes only. It’s a little like watching The Good Place for nerds or artists.

Anything you take from this blog is your responsibility. Nothing in this blog, even if you are mentioned by name, address, and telephone number, pertains to your personal situation. Anything you agree with, or disagree with, you are welcome to comment on, but your opinions belong to you. You are responsible for your comments. If they are offensive, I will remove them.

Review, Uncategorised

Sweet Fat Attitude

You do not need
A better body, a purer spirit, or a Ph.D.
To be proud… You only need more practice.
You get proud by practicing.

Laura Hershey http://www.thenthdegree.com/proudpoem.asp

In the beginning, I couldn’t run 20 meters.

Oh Lord.

My kind fat ass wibbled and wobbled.

My knees protested.

My body creaked and groaned.

But I did it.

I did it.

20m.

Then (crazy old me) went back and did it again next week.

Only this time I did two lots of 20 meters.

They say men are attracted to jiggly bits. It’s true. And when I run, I jiggle enough for every woman in Australia.

A couple of weeks later, the Adonis I train with suggested we try running 10m and walking 10m.

We tried it.

We kept on trying it.

This week I ran approximately 200m.

That’s improvement x10.

Next week, we start trying to run around our oval 1.5 times.

One day, I’m going to be able to sprint 100m.

One day, I’m going to be able to jog 1km.

Who knows, in 10 years time, when my joints have strengthened and my tendons and ligaments have lengthened and my muscles are strong and feisty, I might get to 10km.

How’s that for 190kg?

I love my body. I love the things it can do for me. I love the way it feels when I run. I love my fat. I love my muscle. I love my lungs.

And I thought, wouldn’t it be great if I could run 10km with a happy body?

Goals start with 20m. Goals start at the beginning. If I had sat around thinking ‘woe is me, I can’t run’ would I have run that first 20m? If I had sat around hating my body and hating my fat, would I have run that first 20m?

One of the tricks in life is to set audacious goals and work slowly towards them. Step by step. Bit by bit. Just a tiny bit. Just a fraction.

But keep moving forward. And love your lil self for being where you are and working on yourself (just a teeny tiny bit).

Tell me about something you’ve done a tiny bit of in the comments, that you’re working towards doing more of.

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By reading this blog, you agree that you read it under your own risk, and Gill’s Practical Bookkeeping is in no way responsible for any harm or prejudice to yourself, your business, or any fictional examples above.

I am not a financial advisor. I do not have an AFSL. I am a chick who likes to read, think, write, and has access to google. You should treat this blog with the same seriousness that you would treat anyone whose main qualification is access to google. This blog is for entertainment purposes only. It’s a little like watching The Good Place for nerds or artists.

Anything you take from this blog is your responsibility. Nothing in this blog, even if you are mentioned by name, address, and telephone number, pertains to your personal situation. Anything you agree with, or disagree with, you are welcome to comment on, but your opinions belong to you. You are responsible for your comments. If they are offensive, I will remove them.

F.I.R.E., Life Hacks, More experienced Investors, New To Finance, Review, Uncategorised

Three things I’ve learned from Paula Pant’s Afford Anything

How do you take a philosophy, and a methodology of thinking, and turn it into a business?

Paula Pant has done it with Afford Anything.

She is a woman of colour, an entrepreneur, and a kick-ass lady. But her most important asset is that she likes to think, and she likes to learn.

www.affordanything.com

From Paula, I’ve learned

Small, repeated actions add up to big results. Listening to Afford Anything got me thinking about savings and investments. That got me searching for ways I can do that to fit my lifestyle. Paula says focus on the process rather than the outcome .

What I came up with is twice per month, once after my pay and once after my interest comes in, I make all the numbers in my savings accounts line up in a row. (Savings Account 1: $6222, Savings Account 2: $7222 etc). This has the effect of adding an extra $22.19 here, and an extra $7.54 there, which makes the total go up higher than it would by just adding $300 per month.

And my inner child loves seeing all the numbers add up in a row.

Relationships are more important than stuff.  In this blog, Paula talks about how one of the best ways to heal trauma is to connect with other mammals and focus on building relationships.

That is one of the lessons of my life already. Friends, relationships, family, and caring about people has enriched my life inexpressibly. Having friends involves some simple repeated actions and being kind.

Something I do, is that my teacher buddies and I have coffee together during the school holidays. I initiate one text every school holidays, and if we’re free enough, we catch up.

And my social-self loves having stable, loving friendships.

Look at what other people are doing well, and do that. Paula speaks to people who are interesting and who also think. She’s a thinking person who talks to people who think.  I love this so much.

My little brain just goes “Yaaaaaay” any time she has someone new on her podcast. I’ve bought so many books after listening to the people on her blog. Currently reading: Andrew Hallam, Millionaire Teacher because of listening to her show.

Something else she does really well is having a variety of reader cases (you can ask your questions) with regular guests, and completely new guests and ideas.

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By reading this blog, you agree that you read it under your own risk, and Gill’s Practical Bookkeeping is in no way responsible for any harm or prejudice to yourself, your business, or any fictional examples above.

I am not a financial advisor. I do not have an AFSL. I am a chick who likes to read, think, write, and has access to google. You should treat this blog with the same seriousness that you would treat anyone whose main qualification is access to google. This blog is for entertainment purposes only. It’s a little like watching The Good Place for nerds or artists.

Anything you take from this blog is your responsibility. Nothing in this blog, even if you are mentioned by name, address, and telephone number, pertains to your personal situation. Anything you agree with, or disagree with, you are welcome to comment on, but your opinions belong to you. You are responsible for your comments. If they are offensive, I will remove them.

Beauty
F.I.R.E., Life Hacks, Review, Uncategorised

Review: Derek Dammers Youtube Channel from a Marketing Perspective

On Derek Dammers’ youtube channel, he’s fishing both for living humans and living fish. He’s a salary man, who fishes in his spare time, and is slowly turning his favourite hobby into a business. He has fished for forty years around the harbour, rivers, and lakes of Sydney. He’s an extremely technical person, and a bit of perfectionist. He’s also patient and quite gentle, which makes him a good teacher.

Here are some of the great things he’s done:

  • Visual acuity and slow motion. This channel is perfect for visual learners. Anyone who wants to watch again and again and again to perfect their casting technique can.
  • Beautiful settings and surrounds. Each of these videos is shot in areas of great beauty both formed by humans and natural.
  • Short Videos. The longest video is 40 seconds long. This succinctness means that there is no superfluous information and you never waste your time watching.
  • Thoughtfulness of shooting and subject. If you’re looking to improve your physical know-how, this is a great way to do it. He’s really thought about how to teach, and what to teach, and he’s done a good job.

Here are some of the things he could improve:

  • Not everyone is a visual learner. Some people need to hear a story, or might need words to understand what you’re doing.
  • Credentials. Derek is a teacher, trying to set up a business as a teacher, but he’s establishing his credentials as an expert, rather than a teacher.
  • Accesibility. If you’re trying to teach beginners, or less experienced fishermen, they’re not necessarily going to understand what you’re doing right, and what they’re doing wrong

Suggestions:

  • Add a couple of 2-minute videos explaining what’s happening in the short videos
  • Put up student testimonials, and videos of lesson before and afters
  • Do a beginners series for those going fishing for the first time
  • Embed a button in each video with a Call To Action leading to what you’re selling

Overall, a great channel for anyone who wants to learn fly fishing or anyone who wants to see some great photos and videos of Sydney Harbour.

Check it out: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEc6ld_-5SihhuXYn0o57wQ

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By reading this blog, you agree that you read it under your own risk, and Gill’s Practical Bookkeeping is in no way responsible for any harm or prejudice to yourself, your business, or any fictional examples above.

I am not a financial advisor. I do not have an AFSL. I am a chick who likes to read, think, write, and has access to google. You should treat this blog with the same seriousness that you would treat anyone whose main qualification is access to google. This blog is for entertainment purposes only. It’s a little like watching The Good Place for nerds or artists.

Anything you take from this blog is your responsibility. Nothing in this blog, even if you are mentioned by name, address, and telephone number, pertains to your personal situation. Anything you agree with, or disagree with, you are welcome to comment on, but your opinions belong to you. You are responsible for your comments. If they are offensive, I will remove them.