Life Hacks, Novels and Creative Writing, Trigger Warning!, Uncategorised, Uncategorized

Benefits of Counselling for Rainbow Sunshine444 (Part 1 of 5)

I recently lost a friend.

I lost her because I set a boundary.

This is the boundary: for her to be in my life, she had to attend counselling at least fortnightly.

In the state that I live in, she could access free fortnightly counselling because she is a victim of serious crime and child abuse.

She doesn’t feel the need to work on her issues.

I can understand that.

But I’m not standing on the deck of her ship going down with her.

If she wants to be in my life, she’s going to have to bail some of the water out and try to row for shore instead of intentionally drowning herself.

She asked me for advice as to what she should talk about in counselling.

Here is part 1 of 5 of my suggestions:

Victim/Abuser Radar Sensitivity Training:

RainbowSunshine444 was the victim of physical assaults and frequent emotional abuse from her mother as a child. She is still the victim of regular emotional abuse from her mother. This abuse has never stopped, because she has never moved out of home or separated from her Mum. I have witnessed this behaviour over the past 8 years, and I believe her when she says that it occurred s a child.

She has also internalized her mother’s voice, and insults and berates herself internally as well as having to listen to her mother’s abuse externally.

However, RainbowSunshine444 perceives nearly everyone external to her as abusing her. I have witnessed her label anyone who respectfully suggested she do something helpful in her life as an abuser. I have witnessed her label people abusers for doing something as simple as falling in love and moving out of a share house.

I have witnessed her label people who pay for her drinks and her food and treat her respectfully as abusers. I have witnessed her label people who habitually beat women as “pussy cats” and people who set respectful boundaries with her as “abusive c**ts”.

I have witnessed her claim that the child exploitation and trafficking that she was also a victim of is not abuse. I have witnessed her claim that her Mum does not abuse her.

It is clear to me that she has no f**kn idea what abuse is, and she desperately needs to learn what is and what isn’t inappropriate behaviour. The best place she can learn how to do this is counselling.

So that’s the first thing I think she would benefit from learning about in counselling:

Victim/Abuser Radar Sensitivity Training.

F.I.R.E., Life Hacks, Uncategorised, Uncategorized

Healthy healthy fatty fatty

I have been taking Curcumin for over 12 years.

I started when I got the news that I was pre-diabetic.

At that time I weighed around 150kg, (330 pounds).

I made a lot of changes to my supplements, and some changes to my diet.

I haven’t managed to maintain any of the weightloss, in-fact I’ve put weight on.

However, 6 months later, I was no longer pre-diabetic, and I’ve had good blood sugar results since then (written in September 2022).

I buy my curcumin from: https://www.turmeric-curcumin.com/ (not an affiliate– I get no material benefit for sharing this link).

That website is basically a single product shop with a long list of quotes from scientific studies that have shown that Curcumin in small doses is beneficial to humans for disease prevention, disease management, and good health. The company ships internationally, and there are steep discounts for bulk buys.

The FDA has classified curcumin as generally safe in small doses.

The reason I take curcumin is here: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5664031/

The authors state that benefits of curcumin could include:

  • Benefit to inflammatory conditions
  • Benefit to metabolic syndrome (insulin resistance, hypergylycemia, high blood pressure, etc)
  • Could help in the management of degenerative eye conditions such as macular degeneration
  • Might have benefit to kidneys
  • Antioxident (improves systemic markers of oxidative stress)
  • Benefits to arthritis
  • Could reduce markers of brain aging and liver injury in healthy people
Life Hacks, Novels and Creative Writing, politics, Uncategorised, Uncategorized

Disorderly Gratitude

Neurodivergence:

An interesting word

So many “disorders”

Words used to describe

Completely natural variance.

What words do I use

To describe myself?

Who am I?

How do I define my selfness inside my head?

Change can bring joy

Am I a disorder?

DID, Autism, PTSD?

All of those are just words

Used to characterise coping mechanisms or brain states.

Are my coping mechanisms a disease?

Or a super-power?

Am I disabled?

Or upgraded?

In truth, I see myself as

A capable human dealing with

Pressure and pain

In the best way I can.

I have a lot of help,

And I am grateful.

I have a lot of awe and love,

And I am grateful.

You hear me, God?

It’s not that things aren’t shit sometimes,

It’s that I look at the amazing life I’m living,

And I am grateful.

Thanks for reading my blog. Would love to hear your thoughts and comments below.

Life Hacks, politics, Uncategorised, Uncategorized

What I learned in 20 years of teaching…

One of my favourite poems is ‘you get proud by practising’ By Laura Hershey.

Those tiny actions that you repeat every day?

They change you.

Growing butterfly bush or buddleia in Australia is a wonderful option

Your tiny daily actions change your muscles and posture—ever seen the way a cellist or violinist holds their head at the dinner table?

They way you regularly think changes the way your mind works.

People who do systematic work become increasingly technical.

People who learn a style of deductive reasoning such as lawyers become increasingly bound by rules and logic.

Grevillia in flower

Your speech and communication habits change your relationships.

Have you ever noticed how many psychologists have similar communication techniques or attitudes?  Or how teachers adopt a particular metre when speaking to 5 year olds?

Have you ever been talked down to by someone when they should have been talking up to you?

Sun shines light on the harbour

Your tiny repeated actions don’t just change what you do everyday, they change fundamental aspects of how you are in the world. They change your identity and your internal processes.

So my advice, for anyone really is to pick something to learn.

Could be a language, could be a way of walking, could be a skill, could be a craft, could be a body of knowledge, could be a sport, could be just about anything:

But pick something, and work on it for 5 minutes on a regular basis.

In time, I almost guarantee you’ll be really proud of yourself and how far you’ve come.

And I’ll be proud of you, too.

Note: None of the links in this post are affiliate links, but they do build my blog.

Life Hacks, Novels and Creative Writing, Uncategorised, Uncategorized

Marriage, a Poem

This is a reply to the MTB: Two by Two prompt on dVerse Poet’s Pub

It’s not strictly couplets, but it’s my take on the subject matter.

Hope you enjoy!

Marriage

I know which one is my husband’s breathing

As I listen at the top of the stairs

He arrives, smiling, on the third floor chest heaving

We have a kiss—my fingers in his hair

My husband knows the difference between discretion and valour

He thinks I don’t—but I’m not sure if that’s true.

I watch him when he’s sick—his pain; his pallor;

Stroking his head, and rubbing his shoulders, too.

The daily cares we soothe each other,

Discuss the hours we’ve spent in other’s lives

Talking about philosophy and science,

I hold him close and comfort when he cries.

I married a man of integrated kindness,

Though neither one of us can cope with too much pain,

We slip into the ocean ‘never mind us!’

Or walk the forest paths for inner gains.

Thanks for visiting my blog, feel free to click around and read the other entries.

Thank you.